----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.



























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
 
We're thinking of having these massive soup parties masking the fact that we're just sitting around doing calculus. Since that's all we do anyway- just sit around and eat soup. Next time we're going to the store first and loading up on our options. Then...man calculus has never tasted so sweet.


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Now I'm just sad that in my time away, nothing new and exciting has happened except another collaborative problem.


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Monday, February 18, 2002
 
Maybe I spoke too soon...

Just kidding. I spent most of today with my Calculus group and they make me so happy sometimes....We didn't really understand our collaborative problem so I spent much time on the phone calling smart people and tracking down smart people's phone numbers while Kate and Amy tried to eat each other's shirts. I swear we tend to get stupider as it gets late. They also made joking referecnes to Silence of the Lambs every three seconds, which means when I see the movie it will suck all the fun out of it. But I <3 them anyway and want to put them in my pocket and take them to college with me. *dances*


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Sunday, February 17, 2002
 
There has been an abundant amount of beauty in my weekend so far and it's made me incredibly happy.

Friday:
Right after school, I went to see "The Glass Menagerie" performed by my school. Amy Netzky, playing Amanda Wingfield, was amazing, I thought, and so I, naturally, had a really good time. Afterwards I was in a good mood because I liked the play and went with Camille and Hannah to Michelle's barbecue. WOW.

Let me set the scene: Michelle's house. There are probably twenty-some kids running around her house with little more aim than finding someone new to talk to. Eventually Pete Mug and Chris Bradley show up and decide they're going to leave to pick up their guitars and we'll have music. So we have Mary sing along to their guitar parts, and we have a mini-concert. Someone requests "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and they start playing it. Everyone else (We're all seated in a circle on Michelle's circular couch - a LOT of kids) starts singing along quietly or just sit with their eyes closed, holding the person next to them, and swaying along. Watching this and being a part of it was honestly one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

And I feel bad I don't hang out with those kids as much as I should. They're all great - this weekend Mary invited the entire house (including Pete and Chris and their guitars) to her birthday party, which is beautiful 'cause I only met her that night. But she was sincere in wanting me there so I'm going.

Saturday: BUSY! I woke up earlier than I would have liked (at about 9:45) to pick up the crew to park at an L station and take the train into the city and go to see the Chocolate exhibit at the Field Museum. It couldn't have gone better - I adored the kids I was with (Camille, Rebecca, Kat, Gabe, and Sarah) and it was nice to chill with them without Nik for once (I love her to death, but sometimes change in nice)...the exhibit was good, and we got to excercise our goof on the way back to the train (Rebecca, Camille and I walked the entire way belting children's songs).

When I got home I immedietly called Ruth and went to go pick her and Alan up for a Bitchin' Animal concert. It was amazing to *actually* hang out with them. The band we went to see didn't even go on stage by the time we had to leave to get Ruth home, but it didn't really matter. We spent most of the night huddled together at the Fireside holding each other..it was a good moment, too.

"Life is living, and it's beauty."


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Thursday, February 14, 2002
 
(huzzah for hallmark holidays)

Me: Happy Valentines Day, Alan
Alan: I don't think it's that much fun if you're alone
Me: Bullshit. I didn't spend three days making roses out of hershey kisses because I'm not dating anyone.

*dances* spread the looooove.


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I'm always vaguely amused at how long it's been since my last post. Funny, I don't feel incredibly busy....

Today: Stupid Mr. Carroll (the guy who teaches the radio/tv class at our school. Which means he has nothing to do with the radio club, per se...) pretty much accused me of stealing from the station today..Story:
So today's one of my station manager days. I go to the station after school, and the doors are unlocked, so I put my stuff down inside, take my coat and purse, and leave again to go move my car. Mind you, the room was empty. Ibe wasn't there yet. As I'm leaving, Mr. Carroll comes in and lockes the door to the studio. Jimmy, who's with him, jokingly says "you don't trust the radio club, Mr. Carroll?" and Mr Carroll (for simplicity purposes we'll call him Mr. Stupid) looks at me, points, and says "It's mostly her fault." and leaves. I'm stunned. I turn to Jimmy, wide-eyed, and say "did he just say that?" and Jimmy & I have our discussion about how it's HIS STUDENTS who are stealing all the cds. Ahhh Mr. Stupid makes me so angry sometimes. I really wanted to punch him in the face.

Oh, and I tell this story to Alan tonight at his show (which was a GREAT performance, by the way) and when I said "Mr. Stupid accused me of stealing cds from the station today" he said "well, did you?" Which I found somewhat insulting, but it's Alan so I can't get mad. Ruth and I have an idea to steal him and make him collectively date us. :-) If Chris and Aric can do it, so can we, dammit.


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Sunday, February 10, 2002
 
...Why was that so much longer than a paragraph?

(Today would have been Grant's & my 13-month had we still been together. I remember this day last year. I miss him so much.)


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So. 5 days later. My weekend in a paragraph:
Friday: No idea. What did I do......Oh right. Hung out with Navy boys. Silly Rebecca....all the bois did all night was drink (which wasn't very entertaining to watch) and complain about how Steph, the "hot girl" didn't want to do them and Sarah, the "pretty one" has a boyfriend. So I chilled with the drunk guy who spent the night throwing up and mothered him. I <3 having a purpose.

Saturday: Saturday seems to slip my mind. I spent most of the day with Erkus. We started off taking pictures, which was nice 'cause we haven't had one of those "we're going to walk around aimlessly looking for art" days in a while. Then we hooked up with Shappy and played pool "Okay guys, this is what we have to do in this particular order: return the game to Blockbuster, get Buff Joe's, and play pool. NOW. MOVE." Which was, incidentally, the night of "you smell like hair products." and "Hey, is Shappy home? Wait, you're Shappy too. Is Big Shappy home? WHOA! How can Little Mike also be Big Shappy??" and saw Amelie FINALLY. I also, incidentally, talked to Grant for the second time in a month. I miss him so much.

(wow my mind is all over the place)

Sunday: Sunday school. My kids had a special program today 'cause they've "officially" learned the alef bet (hebrew alphabet) and so they had a ceremony for it. Which means they didn't need me, so I got put in with Gunning's kindergarden class. They were so low key! It made me happy. But I really wanted to see my kids in their ceremony. :-( But! Anyway. I went back to my classroom to get my coat at the end of the day, and little Isabelle comes running in (to get her mother), sees me, and does one of those "Nora Nora Nora!!!!" *runs up and gives me a biiiig hug* "where were you today???" like she's actually upset she missed me. It made me really happy.

After Sunday school we went to Auntie's for brunch. She's home from the hospital from breaking her leg outside of Starbucks (since it's evil and corporate-y). She's doing better. It's her birthday today. Then came home & started making flowers for Valentines Day. I feel bad for blowing off Ruth so much in the past couple of weeks (she's soo cute and I feel terrible) so I'm going to see if I can get a one-night break in my "Alone Time" so I can take her on a nice date and give her a kiss good-bye. I miss her kisses; she always tastes so good. *sigh*


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Haha, the amazement exponentionals bring......


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Tuesday, February 05, 2002
 
So I have MORE evidence of why I'm a loser:

The other day I was thinking about how, as time moves forward, Nik and I have grown goofier and such, and Erik's gotten more frustrated with it and yells a lot more. I, of course, being the loser I am, made graphs and used calculus to explain the phoenominon. I rock.


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I'd skip into my rendition of The Vandals's "Happy Birthday To Me" but I'm too tired to sing.

On a related note, Sara Gunning is, by far, the coolest person I've ever met. I talked to her during lunch today:

Sara: Oh! It's your birthday today!
Me: yes.
Sara: I'll bring you a gift at Midrasha tonight.
Me: Don't be rediculus, Gunning. I don't need anything.
Sara: *cackle* *leaves*

So she brought me a bag of hugs since I always hug people. I <3 her!!!


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Monday, February 04, 2002
 
My my my where does the time go? It seems crazy that I posted about my weekend almost two days ago; I remember such times when I was here everyday. Oh tiiiime. Come back to us!

So I feel kind of stupid 'cause I've now realized how my mind's process of coherant, intellegent thought has been shot. I think I used to post interesting things here, but I don't remember when and I don't really know what happened. What can I say? I'm boring now.

Things that are going on:
I still haven't talked to Grant, the man, in a long long time and it's getting pretty rediculous. He's not allowed to fall out of love with me. Doesn't matter how long we've been broken up or how we'll never be back together, I'm obviously never going to get over him so I fiugre I should get the same likewise. Especially after less than two months. *rowr*

My near-sister, Nikki, is broken. We had this amazing 6-way snow(ball)fight yesterday, and Erkus prime tackled her and she fell wrong. So she took school off today to go to the emergency room and get her shoulder looked at. I called her once I got home tonight and she says she'll be okay and her "injury" won't impare her softball. Which is good 'cause she's bound for another MVP season (I'm so proud of her!)

I started receiving tutoring for calculus today. The guy who's teaching me, Jeremy, is a really nice guy and I'm happy he's not one of those "I'm going to be stuck up and condescending because I know calculus and you don't" people. Really. I'm going to learn a lot.

I talked to Ethan in the halls today; I haven't seen him since Econ ended last semester. I miss sitting by him and complaining about how money is the devil, so why are we in a class that revolves around it...? Although I DO miss Sotnick. Ahhhh conflict. So we had a nice discussion about how I'm done and he has his most important semesters still ahead of him. Oh Ethan. He's a really smart kid, though, so he'll be perfectly fine and will probably end up going to a "better" college than I will.

Colleges are the devil. I just want them all to accept me right now. Raaah!

That's a whole lot of bitchin'!!

(Iturneighteentomorrowyayyyyy)


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Saturday, February 02, 2002
 
So I'm rediculous. I went clubbing last night with the ladies (Erik should have come but decided he's not dirty enough to be seen at Galaxy) and actually had a good time. Lizze taught us that the only key to dancing sexily is just having confidence, and having Kat there made that much easier since neither of us have dancing skill so we were just jumpin' around and looking stupid. It was great. And I met this guy Matthew, who doesn't dance all pelvic and disgusting like everyone else, who's a really nice guy and he's "going to call me" so we can "go see a movie". Which will be fun 'cause I'm on Alone Time. But whatever, he can wait.

There's just such energy in a place like that. I'll admit the music is stupid and the lighting looks like it should be in Sea World, but the kids have fun and it's a place where you can either a) meet some kids or b) make fun of everyone and have a good time.

Needless to say, I'm pretty tired. :-P


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Things I don't believe in:
New Years Resolutions
Death
Age
Spreading Germs
Image (this should be higher on the list)
Absense of religion


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