Tuesday, January 29, 2002
I think there's an art to blogs and other sorts of online diaries. So many of people's posts deal with responding to something someone else said, and they make it beautifully anonymous so everyone else can still read and know what's going on.
I, although, don't possess this skill.
I believe the conversation was about memory and how Erik doesn't hold old memories unless he's written them down somewhere. I'm worried now that 20 years from now, if we haven't ended up married or living next door to each other or such (which won't ever happen), I'll call him on a whim one day and he won't remember me. I'm terrified. (which ties into my whole idea of death and how it doesn't really exist, but that's for another day).
7:24 PM
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Sunday, January 27, 2002
I just got off the phone with Grant, who somehow has gotten away with not talking to me for two weeks. It's NUTS. And we compared craziness. Seems as though the Queens (his roomates - the gay bois) have a boyfriend. Collectively. They just met this guy and figured they'd share him. I <3 Chris and Aric (who names their kid Aric without expecting him to turn out gay..?)
And last night I went ice skating with my youth group (how wholesome!) and had an amazing time. There were 7 of us, including Jon the advisor. And yet we still took our big school bus there. So when we got there, we figured out no one really knew how to skate except Joey, who didn't quite remember and was borriwing her sister's skates so she wasn't used to them, so she was slightly more on our skill level. I stayed with some new kids the whole time, Ezra and Nathan. Nathan doesn't know how to skate (AT ALL) so Ezra and I spent a lot of time trying to teach him. i.e. I took his hand and pulled him while Ezra laughed. It was great. It made me really happy, which I needed after last week. *sigh*
6:03 PM
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Friday, January 25, 2002
I wish I had some remarkable insight to share right now, but I think I've wasted it all in the comments on Erkie's page..
"And it's not the way you look,
it's the way you look at me."
-Nivo's Oh Dearheart
2:18 PM
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Wow, I didn't use any subjects in any sentences in that last post. I really hate typing (or saying, for that matter) "me" or "I" a lot because it makes me feel very selfish and self-centered. Rarrrr.
On a different note, though, I find it extremely ironic that we (the people I've checked with, anyway) use our best quotes as away messages. When most people see that someone is away, they don't think to IM them to see the quote. Maybe we should have an Away Message Party where we all sit around and share our wonderful wonderful quotes/insight that no one else will ever see. :
What is the distance between the eyes and the s o u l?
Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of minutes.
Stars to live by. Stars to steer by. Stars to d i e by.
Don't bug me, hug me!
I’ve come a long way and now I’m me
The darkest river that meets the sea
And all those lights on the harbor seem
To be sparklin’ in bittersweet
I’m a survivor, My heart is tough
I’m hangin’ in there, and that’s enough
I always lose at the game 'Ten Fingers' even though I've really not done that much. Somehow I think they've rigged it.
Oh, sometimes I wish I were Juliet, except for the suicide part.
And she would call me an ugly American
And I remember my Canadian rose
I dream of vampires. I dream of god. I dream of no vampires. I dream of no god. I dream of nothing. And yet that too is still my dream.
<3 - ___ hit the atmosphere
<3 - caught herself a rocket ride out of this gutter and
<3 - she's never coming back, i fear
<3 - but any time it rains,
<3 - she just feels a lot better
<3 - and that's all that really matters to me.
youre happpy youre in love
but you need someone to hate
(( she is trapped inside a month of grey. ))
In Jasmine, Saskatchewan, it is illegal for a cow to moo within 300 km of a private home.
...those nutty Canadians!...
I'd show them the stars & the meaning of life.
They'd shut me away, but I'd be alright.
I'm just...
uptight.
Cry for me, I'm having an orgy tonite and so far, I'm the only one attending.
"Why do you want to be on the jury Mr..."
"Karl will do."
"Ok, Mr. Karl."
"No, not mister, just Karl."
"Ok 'Karl', why do you want to be on the jury?"
"Supreme power over life and death."
"I'm afraid the maximum penalty in this case is 90 days and a thousand dollars."
"Well than the power over life and 90 days and 1000 dollars."
"Dismissed."
"Burn in hell!"
"Baliff!"
If you were not mad, you wouldn't be here.
. . . yet at the same time remarkably scary . . .
©The search for truth is an awesome dare© (the ends are supposed to be hearts)
Girls who park in cars with boys aren't really popular.
I want to live
but
I'm afraid of hate
and
I'm afraid of love
.
.
.
I want to die
but
I'm afraid of Hell
and
I'm afraid of Heaven
have you answered questions for idiots?
I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND THIS ONE
Tears Aren't Too Sexy
sometimesartificialhappinessistheonlyhappiness
"I"m like the Pythogerian Thereom--I can't be solved. "
--Shaquille O'Neal
GiveMeTV: i'm cold again
Popstarxx: booty dance.
GiveMeTV: Heh. What would you say if a horse asked you how tall you were?
i won't have the strength when you really need me
Toxikate: _@ï "and mrs. goosecrap. i hope she brings her 12 children! they can play games!"
Maybelline Eyes: _@ïv "teaaa party! teaaa party! mushrooms. friends. crumpets. TEAA PARTY!"
Toxikate: _@ï "like jump-rope!~
Maybelline Eyes: _@ïv "wooo!"
kiss me and youll see stars
love me and ill give you them.
Is rock dead?
yes. but i believe in necrophilia
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love:There are three components of love - passion, intimacy, and commitment. The theory shows how all three, singularly and in various combinations produce seven kinds of love. Most importantly, consummate love which combines all three components.
2:12 PM
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Wednesday, January 23, 2002
It's been a long week. Calculus kicked my ass today for a full hour and a half, and so I'm ready to go to bed and cry for a long time. Studying econ with a splitting headache because of hemispheres and growth charts swimming in your head isn't particularly fun, eh? Cry for me. :-(
Done wallowing. I'll be happy again tomorrow once everything else is over and I can get back to being less stressful. *deep breaths*
9:36 PM
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Rachel:
"i don't really want to look like a holiday, either. i want to look like...
the jungle.
hell.
eyes - like piercing, i suppose - that make everyone around me paranoid and scared.
i want to smell like satsuma!
i've got secrets - when i really don't.
i'm confident.
hmm..sounds like i want to be the devil. but it depends on my mood, maybe.
rachel
i am the bullet in the gun.
i am the truth from which you run.
and i control you.
"
9:34 PM
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Tuesday, January 22, 2002
Yesterday I found a bunch of things I thought to post, quotes from old posts from now nonexistant boards, and I figured it'd be fun to share. Since it's all beautiful and it's all very poetic, etc. (leave that to Skye, our published poet). But. Then I figured I didn't want to overload people with so much in one day. So I think we're going for one-a-day type things.....here's one for today.
The topic was "what do you want to look like?"
Skye:
>"do i look like a holiday?"
i don't think i want to look like a holiday.
i want to look like the wind.
i want to look like sand and dirt and dust and ashes in a breeze.
i want to look like a swingset.
i want to appear hollow and sallow and own everything on the inside.
i want to be emerald.
i want to look inopportune.
i want to have those piercing eyes that always seem to have just stopped crying.. in light, light colours.
i want to be rosy and wispy and smell like coconut.
i want to be soft.
i'm really interested in what everyone else wants to look like.
* skye *
"black woman with healthy figure and red hair please return my dog." - a lost dog sign in ft. meyers, fl.
2:50 PM
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Update on "Everything's A Love Song" (the cd, smartass):
I've added "Death Metal Steve", "Great American Sharpshooter", "Concrete Schoolyard", "Sensible", and "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (Live)". I have yet to find the Punk's Not Dead album from the Exploited, not to mention I don't even know where to start looking for Skits, Songs and Socks by the Vestibules. I refuse to pay $15 for a cd (which is what ordering it would cost), even if there are 30 tracks. I don't feel like paying 50 cents to own "Bulbous Boufont." *grumble*
2:47 PM
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Sunday, January 20, 2002
I've found more fun for you!!!! Go here!! It's like a madlib, but then it sings you a song. I made a funk song about how the land of mario party is better than "square Evanston". Quality, man.
10:46 PM
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Okay, we're starting a contest. Seems as though Erik thinks I should say something "interesting." So this contest is to see who can *drumroll* Give Nora More Drama!
After all, if I'm going to say something interesting, there must be something to write about.
On your marks.....
Get set.......
go!
10:34 PM
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Saturday, January 19, 2002
Since you all know how obsessed I've become with the Thursday Night stuff, I've decided I'm going to do a paint series of the cafe. "The Cafe" These are the photographs I'm going from:
(later. Sorry)
11:04 PM
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"And the shadows keep on changin'...."
-Poe
So I'm working on "Everything is a Love Song" for Grant's cd exchange thing. So far the track list is:
"Boys are Dumb, Girls are Weird" by Matty Hargering
"Guilty as Sin" by Nivo
"Dance into the Night" by Erratic Fool
"A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not" by Bright Eyes
"Wild World" by Me First and the Gimme Gimme's
"Something Special" by CIV
"Aaja Nachle" by Daler Mehndi
"Why Do All Girls Think They're Fat?" by Reel Big Fish
"Twat Called Maurice" by Consumed
"Full Moon, Empty Heart" by Belly
"Haunted" by Poe
and I have yet to fit in:
"Lake of Fire" by Nirvana
"Death Metal Steve" by Size 14
"Sensible" by Face to Face
"Bulbus Boufont" by the Vestibules
"Great American Sharpshooter" by Less than Jake
"Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" by Rockapella
"Sex and Violence" by the Exploited
"Concrete Schoolyard" by J5
And I have NO idea how to do it. So if anyone has any suggestions.....
6:10 PM
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Just because you need to.
4:02 PM
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It's an odd time. Everyone I know and love is happy. Which makes me happy, but it leaves an absense of humorous drama. What happened to all those times we could sit around and discuss stories of what we thought was important at the time just because we needed a little bit of chaos..there are no new stories now.
"Oh, sometimes I wish I were Juliet, except for the suicide part."
-The one and only....
4:00 PM
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Sunday, January 13, 2002
Grant leaves tomorrow. College is truely evil in how it'll make you believe that you can spend time with people you love, and then four weeks later it rips them back. Grant once told me that I was the only person he'd consider not going to college for; that he'd stay in Chicago and find some school here so we could be together. But since that's obviously never going to happen....
11:02 PM
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Thursday, January 10, 2002
Two weeks before finals. I'm going NUTS. As Erkus Prime so beautifully stated "things shut down this time of year on blogger. People stop writing, people stop reading". I haven't even been online in three days let alone on my blogger....I've missed my baby. But I'm back now.
Still hectic, still stressed, going to cut down on posting 'cause it'll all be the same complaint.
*hugs*
6:03 PM
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Saturday, January 05, 2002
Does anyone else think there's a specific type of comfort that comes from being absolutely miserable? If you have it for so long, and then, all of a sudden, you're happy.....it's like you've missed a part of you.
"I miss the comfort of being sad."
-Skye (is she even happy now?)
11:32 PM
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It makes me sad sometimes when I realize I have no talents.
I went driving around tonight with my girl Ruth, and we were talking about how amazing Alan is when he plays. And we got really jealous that we can't do that. I've had one of his songs stuck in my head for a couple days, and I don't remember if he's putting it on his cd or not. If any of you *other* fans out there know, will you tell me? It's the one with the lines "'cause you're everything to me, and I can't feel complete unless you're stealing my breath away"....etc. That's the line I can't forget.
And I had a long talk with her about what's going to happen when I graduate. I'm so scared that I'm going to get to school and change so much that everything that's important to me here won't have that same magic anymore, and it scares me. I don't want to come home for the holidays and not know what to do with myself. I don't want Erik and Nikki and Ruth to forget about me. Ruth means so much to me...I don't know if I could deal with it. And I think she noticed it was making me upset so we just ended up parking in Forrestway Drive looking at the little lake, listening to sad music, and holding each other.
11:30 PM
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Friday, January 04, 2002
I spent last night watching my friend Alan perform at Cafe Mozart. He's amazing. And while there I figured out why it's so mesmorizing to watch....both about Alan playing and about Alan in general.
He's amazing to watch because of the look on his face when he plays. It just looks like he's truly happy when he's playing the guitar and singing...because it was something he was born to do. And it still makes him happy.
He's an amazing person because he's not afraid to look people in the eye. And that's a rare quality to come by in people.
1:27 PM
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Tuesday, January 01, 2002
Here's to a new year. 2002. The next stage in ... I'm not sure. Growing up, I guess.
"Time is marching on. And time.....is still marching on."
Now that we will never have 2001 again, what will you miss?
4:30 PM
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