----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Friday, March 15, 2002
 
I had a list of things I wanted to say. Now I can't remember most of them, but the manuscripts are probably still locked away in my memory somewhere.

I have a list of things I want to tell him. It's been going on for two and a half years, and still nothing's different. One of us should have grown out of it, something should have been resolved by all those times we've hurt each other intentionally to stop it. But nothing changes. We just take the blows and pretend that everything's okay. There's a running talley by now. I got hurt last so I guess it's my job to run the daggar next time.

I've always wanted the kind of eyes that truly are the window to my soul. If I'm happy I want eyes that will light up. I've always tried to make them - to me it feels like my eyes are shining when I'm happy, or that they're needles when I'm mad. I want my eyes to be the kind that shows that I have a question when I do, but no one bothers to look. My secret.

Hold me like a baby that will not fall asleep
curl me up inside you and let me hear you feel the heat

I'm in a romantic mood. I think I just need to be held and rocked, but right now that seems like a lot to ask for.
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