Blind Eyes Closed

----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."

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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.

Blind Eyes Closed

Friday, April 19, 2002

Sometimes I really can't help but feel guilty for sophomore year. Everything that happened. That was the year I found myself....the year I started hanging out with Grant, Eleanor, Gabe, Luke.....the "freaks". I was happy. I finally had people I really really got along well with that I learned from; but also learned from me even though I was two years younger than most of them. I met these people that I fell in love with and then I tried bringing everyone else I cared about into it. Especially Erik. I think I wanted to show him that these were people that were making me happy, so maybe they'd make him happy too. But they just made him sad. And I couldn't understand why, so I kept forcing them together. And I really was making Erik worse by not encouraging him to find kids of his own. Maybe I was just scared of losing him. I still am, but it's okay now. So I'm apologizing, Erik. I didn't mean to ever try to force you somewhere you didn't want to be. But you're happy now, and that's all that matters. Honestly.

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