----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.



























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
 
I came here with the idea of being intelligent. And then I looked over and saw I still have 60 pages to read in Lolita and it hurts my head. But I guess it's my fault for not pushing myself to read it earlier. It really is a good book and I feel bad for complaining all the time. I promised myself I'd quit, but you know how far promises go with Jews.....

Speaking of Jews, tonight was my last BESSY event ever. We had a barbecue at John and Ny's house. Joey and Molly surpised everyone (well, surprised me) with a huge cake that was cow spotted and said BESSY in the middle with the names of all the Bessy seniors along the sides. My name was on there. And Molly passed around this book of pictures from Bessy events and it made me feel really...special to see myself in most of them. Like I really was part of this community. It felt like home; and now I'm leaving. Joey started to cry near the end of the night and I didn't know what to do so I just hugged her for a long time. Molly loves Rochester and is going to visit mid-August and I'm trying to get her to change it to late August so I can see her there. I'm going to miss them so much.

Maybe it's not too late to RSVP for the cookout at the Unger's so I can possibly see Stephane before I leave. I love her SO MUCH and going to school without a good picture of her is rediculus. It's finally setting in that I'm leaving and I don't know what to do. I just hope crying isn't an option, I like my eyes to function.


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