----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.



























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Saturday, June 08, 2002
 
So yesterday wasn't as emotional as I was anticipating. Homebase was bad, I spent the entire time hugging everyone and wailing about how I had to see them all this summer. It was sad. Then everything else was pretty much as expected...I got a hug from Sellke in Calc and Mrs. Oberman brought a camera and took millions of pictures of us. She said we were one of her favorite groups of seniors. It was cute. After school I went to go see Mr. Van Krey and say good-bye since I've been out the past couple days taking the final. It was hard to say good-bye to him, sensei's been there for me SO MUCH over the past two years...in retrospect I wish I had started Japanese sooner. I got him to sign my yearbook and I made him promise to take care of my mother next year when I'm gone. I also told him I already promised Dai kun, Mizue san, and Ippei kun that I would visit their Japanese class next year so I'll be seeing him. I'll miss him a lot.

After school was good. I left with Erik, mike, and Dan, and we walked to my car singing the Star Wars theme with the word "done". "done done done doooooone..." It was one of the most free moments of my life. We dropped off Dan, went to mike's to get food then picked up Al and went to Flat Top for dinner. It was hideously expensive and I made the mistake of sitting in the middle of the benched side, so I could only get out by crawling under the table. I got stuck a couple times and caleb made fun of me. So then we went back to my house to bum around, and I realized Cam had her convertible so she took Nikki, Alec, and I for a ride. Somehow I thought it was a good idea to take off my over shirt and whirl it around over my head (like a stripper), but the wind cought it and it just hit Nikki in the face a few times. Then Cam had to take it home, and it took her maybe fifteen minutes to park. We made sufficient fun of her, don't worry.

When we got back to my house, Al and Gabe remembered our last party at my house and got coke cans and my fire poker and put two and two together....I got sprayed in the forehead. That lasted about 5 minutes, though, and we remembered we brought Young Frankenstein. I watched it with Mike, Al, and Hannah, and everyone else was chillin in my living room (surprise nothing broke). It was a wonderful movie. I'll be quoting it for a while. ("Call it a hunch...") Then I sat on the arm of my couch next to Caleb and he fell asleep with his head on my lap. It was adorable. I got paranoid that he was going to drool on me so I woke him up and everyone went to the beach where Gabe swept me off of my feet. Apparently he's the master of dipping people in dance. We had no music, but that didn't stop us. :-) Then we chilled on the rocks, and I took Caleb home around 1:30. It was a great day.

And so, consequently, I woke up this morning to go out to lunch with mary, which went very well until we met up with Erik. I still hate spending time with them together, it's just kind of the epitomy of third-wheel. And I know they don't mean it that way but it's definitely what it feels like. I got home around 4:15 and went back to sleep for 4 hours. Now I"m about to go paint. It'll be a good evening.


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