Friday, August 30, 2002
Todday was really...uplifting. Wilson Days. Which means forced community service. I helped set up and run a carnival at the underprivilaged children's center in Rochester. It was SO MUCH FUN. It was a really hot day and we were set up outside, so I got really sunburnt and everyone that was there from Hollister 6 got dunked. It was too much fun. And the kids made us Tye-dye shirts that look awesome and I love it. No one else had an especially good time 'cause they were all cleaning windows and such. I say to them "TAKE THAT!" Then I came home, rushed the the bookstore to buy books, and went down to the Interfaith Chapel for shabbat services. And it was conservative 'cause reform services don't start until next week. But it was cool anyway and I met this kid who belongs to TBI, which is the OTHER reform temple in the Evanston area. It was really cool to meet him...he lives in Skokie and participated in Midrasha for a bit and I never knew him. He quit Midrasha before everyone got really tight, apparently.
Megan then made fun of me a lot for being a Jew and threatened to beat me with a yamaka. But it's okay 'cause she's making me an honorary black girl. I won't elaborate because it won't make sense.
11:53 PM
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Thursday, August 29, 2002
They know Daler Mehndi!!!! My social life is complete. :-P
2:26 PM
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Wednesday, August 28, 2002
I wish it was the sixties
I wish we could be happy
I wish something would happen
7:53 PM
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Tuesday, August 27, 2002
In lighter stuff, though, I saw RU's improv troupe perform tonight. They're HILARIOUS. I've stolen some away messages from them. Jamie, my RA, is one of them, and he was awesome. And we got to kind of hang out with the improv-ers for a little bit afterwards. I was wearing my Walk For Israel shirt 'cause I met Hillel today (and my BESSY shirt has a huge golden calf on it) and one of the improv guys was like "hey. Let me guesss...you've walked in Israel." "not exactly..." "You've been to Israel..." "Nah" "well you're wearing a shirt with hebrew on it. I'm being logical here..." "see how it says I walked FOR Israel? It was in Chicago. I walked FOR Israel not WITH Israel." It seemed to really confuse him but he's a really cool guy. They all are. I wish we could have chilled with them longer 'cause I would have liked to hear them tell me stories. No one on my floor will randomly tell me stories. It's sad.
11:38 PM
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I don't want to fight with him. It's not worth it and I KNOW it's not worth it. But I don't know how to deal with not being with him yet and it's really throwing me for a loop. It probably won't hit me that WE'VE BROKEN UP until it hits me that I'M IN COLLEGE which hasn't happened yet. But it's starting to. And it's kind of freaking me out.
11:35 PM
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Monday, August 26, 2002
I HATE THIS SURVEY. But I do like the music. :-)
6:38 PM
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I can't describe to you the emotions that are running through my body right now. It hasn't really hit me yet that I'm here. I don't think it's hit any of us (us being the kids on my floor that I was talking to about this last night: David, Patrick, Ariel, Kristin, Mona, Bobbie, Tracey, Megan) yet. It kind of feels like I'm at summer camp. Like I'll be going home in a couple weeks and everyone will be the same. But it won't. I will be here for three more months before I see the kids again, and even then it will be for four days and nothing will ever be the same again. That's not to say it won't be good - everything will be good, but ... oh I can't describe it. I told you. Stop trying to make me.
In short:
Everything's going well. I like the kids here. My hall is good. I saw Boyer last night and got one of the best hugs of my life. He told me where his room is and then I promptly forgot. I'm just THAT good. :-)
9:34 AM
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Rochester!
9:31 AM
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Wednesday, August 21, 2002
<3 - ___ hit the atmosphere
<3 - caught herself a rocket ride out of this gutter and
<3 - she's never coming back, i fear
<3 - but any time it rains,
<3 - she just feels a lot better
<3 - and that's all that really matters to me.
It's pouring. I want to play.
10:26 PM
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A fortune cookie given to my grandfather, which was entirely too perfect: "If you don't get rejected at least three times a week, you're not trying hard enough." When he read this out loud to the group, my grandmother (his wife of over fifty years, mind you) answered "three times a week or three times a day?"
10:04 PM
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"Why do you want to be on the jury Mr..."
"Karl will do."
"Ok, Mr. Karl."
"No, not mister, just Karl."
"Ok 'Karl', why do you want to be on the jury?"
"Supreme power over life and death."
"I'm afraid the maximum penalty in this case is 90 days and a thousand dollars."
"Well than the power over life and 90 days and 1000 dollars."
"Dismissed."
"Burn in hell!"
"Baliff!"
10:02 PM
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So here's the past few days in a couple sound clips....
monday night:
Nora: Can we get back to topic? House of leeeaves?
Erik: Yeah, you knew the conversation would get sidetracked sometime.
Nora: I know, but only with you, Cam, and Mike will it get sidetracked to Quantum Physics.
tuesday night:
"DEAR LORD WE LOST CAMMY!"
so far today:
Me: "yeah, I'm not going to work today, I have to pack."
Caleb: "let's go shopping on belmont; I need clothes"
Me: "okay sure"
6:40 PM
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Monday, August 19, 2002
My legs hurt. A lot. They were fine yesterday, but when I woke up this morning....WOO! My left hip is sore, which makes me limp, and my right calf hurts like a growing pain but more annoying. And as much as I can complain about this, it was entirely worth it. Playing Lazertag half asleep rocks my world. :-) Alik and I spent a good amount of time thinking up code-names for each other that had something to do with either the Fuck-you poems from his paper (I was Eli, Gabe was moose) and Evil Dead (I was bookcase, Mike was Laughing deer, Al was blackgoo). It was thoroughly entertaining.
Sarah: I'm a pirate! I have the eyepatch, the bandana, the crutches, and the PARROT!
Gabe: You don't need the crutch unless you have the PEG!
(it was really funny at 2:30 in the morning)
12:58 PM
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Friday, August 16, 2002
"I wish it was the sixties
I wish we could be happy"
3:02 PM
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Thursday, August 15, 2002
Last night was the first time I had to say good-bye. It then sunk in that I'm leaving. In a week, no less. It terrified me...like when Grant left, it didn't really hit me until my mother told me to come home and I begged for another hour so I wouldn't have to leave. This time Sara got lost trying to find us and it terrified me that I wouldn't see her for three months because she went the wrong way down Dempster. But alas, she located us and I got some good times in with her, Ruth, Max, and Alan before they all leave me and I in turn leave them. We took Alan to an open mic at the Heartland Cafe and he kicked ass. It was an amazing performace (of everyone) and I saw Dani which was odd, but it didn't matter. And I got three of the best hugs of my life. I'm still not ready to go and the separation anxiety is going to be the death of me, but I got the first step done, and at least that's a start.
1:26 PM
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Tuesday, August 13, 2002
A few weeks ago when I went to see Alan, most of the kids I chill with there (like Ruthie and Sara) weren't there so I was kind of the odd-girl-out. I sat where I usually sit - in one of the tables near the counter near where Alan sits. And I sat there looking out the window facing Active Endevears, and I made up the life story for all the people who walked by me. And it made me smile. No one else understood what was making me so happy staring aimlessly out the window, but I knew. And that is all that matters.
2:26 PM
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Monday, August 12, 2002
mi sheberach avoteinu
b'chol habracha imoteinu
May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us
Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing
And let us say: Amen
Mi sheberach imoteinu
b'chol habracha avoteinu
Bless those in need of healing with r'fuah sh'lemah
The renewal of body; the renewal of sprit
And let us say: Amen
5:55 PM
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*does a Grant's home dance* And his friends ROCK. I've always had faith in the boy....we just kinda chilled yesterday 'cause everyone was tired (except me, but I'm a dork) and he met and approves of Caleb. So everything's good. Tonight we're going to Kafein and I'm going to see Eleanor for the first time in .... a long time. I'm a little nervous, but we're both good at pretending we still get along great. So it'll be okay.
2:23 PM
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Saturday, August 10, 2002
Safe to say I was wrong. Good. Nothing happened between the hours of four and eight; and to think of it I'm not really sure what I was expecting. I came home at four and went to sleep until six, then had a nice Shabbat dinner with my family and Paul and then went to synagogue for the 8:00 service with Ruth and the Gunning. It was SO CUTE. I didn't realize how much I missed Rabbi London. And Nathan Render and Danny G were there so we got to talk to them. It made me really really happy. I've also missed feeling so spiritual. I want to take Caleb with me to serivices sometime but I know he won't go. Rawr. Silly atheist....I still don't understand it. Belief in G-d is what you make it, so just believe. So many people don't understand how much courage goes into faith. Too much is relied on proof, which I think is highly overrated. Who needs to prove that G-d exists? Who are you hurting in just believing? Keep it personal. I know a lot of people could point out how many wars were fought religiously, but those were all about religion. I'm not talking about religion, just G-d. Give it a try.
The Torah says to love your neighbor as yourself. All the rest is commentary. Go and learn it.
1:23 AM
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Friday, August 09, 2002
Today's going to be bad. If it isn't already. Nothing's happened yet, but I feel in my bones that something unpleasant is going to happen. Between the hours of 4 and 8. We'll see, I guess. I worry that Caleb isn't telling me that he's unhappy. And I fell really shady asking him all the time like I don't trust his answer, but it's been weird lately. And I'm not quite sure how to respond. I just want to see him and look into his eyes and see that he still loves me and have everything be okay. I really do.
2:56 PM
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Thursday, August 08, 2002
The air is fixed! Last night and Tuesday night fixed things. Everyone was honest, everyone was good, and nothing went wrong. Tuesday I chilled with the Kids, and it was nice 'cause I don't know when I'm going to see them all again. Many shall be out of town when I leave. :-( Cry for me.
Last night was good, though. Cam & Hannah's birthday party, after six months of procrastination. We went out to dinner at Flat Top and I broke Camille. Numerous times. And it never got less funny. Is anyone hungry....? It was also the second most inappropriate conversation I've ever had at a restaurant, the first being talking about achieving a g-spot orgasm. This one was just genitalia in general. It was fun. Andf I almost won at pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. Be proud. :-) Good night!
11:39 AM
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Tuesday, August 06, 2002
In short, the air is STILL bad, and no one's (mainly mine) is getting any better. I'm not the only one who assumes to much.
12:27 PM
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Friday, August 02, 2002
*does a "mike's writing me a story" dance*
11:38 PM
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I hate this mood. The air is bad and has been bad for the past couple days, and it's making everyone irratable. Tonight things aren't really going as planned. I was supposed to see this documentary on Wilco tonight with Ruth and Max, and Ruth called me more than once to tell me what's going on but Anna was on the phone, and Anna doesn't pick up call waiting so I never got Ruth's call. So they went without me. And I really really wanted to go. And I'm really pissed off. So I've been chillin' at the computer all night working on a mix for Caleb. Which is going to be excellent, if I may say so myself...
But back to the point. I've been stewing and getting pissy and so when other people get complain-y and not good I feel like its my fault and I'm ready to do whatever to make everyone else happy again. Others are always more important. So now I just want to hold everyone and make everything okay. But I don't think it works that way, and it makes me sad. A good hug should turn the world right again.
hold your breath and close your eyes - I want to hold you.
11:00 PM
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