----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Thursday, October 17, 2002
 
My head is ready to explode. But not in that fun, I'm-having-a-good-time-so-I'm-going-to-spaltter-the-goodness-all-over-the-walls way, it's more of the I've-cried-so-much-in-the-past-hour-I'm-not-sure-if-my-innards-can-handle-it type. Which sucks. My mother IMs me with "Nora, dad isn't doing well" about an hour and a half ago and I've been freaking out. Apparently he's getting really weak and losing his speech. I wonder if Caleb lost his and if it came back...I don't know. I don't know what to do. They're at the doctor's office right now getting his condition evalutated, and she's going to let me know when they get home.

In the fucking meantime, I have to go to class. I don't know what I'm going to do. When I found out I made rounds and got hugs from two of my favorite people on campus, Josh and Sam. Sam gave me an Erik-type hug which was exactly what I needed. That I didn't have to ask, I just went to his room with a sad look on my face and he ask me what was wrong and held me while I cried into his sweater. And told me over and over again to go home. I'd love to, but I have so many exams coming up and I need to be here and study. It's too much. I don't want to be here. I just want to lie in my bed and make everything go away and have it make everything okay. I just want him to be okay.
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