----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.



























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Friday, October 04, 2002
 
What an odd day! To surpise my dad, my mom and I decided to fly me home for fall break. So my flight was SUPPOSED to leave at 2:10, but I got confused and thought it was going to go at 1:18, so I was freaking out about making it on time. So I arranged for my cab to pick me up at Sue B at noon, but I was just getting back from class at noon and had to still go up to my room and get my bags. By the time I came back down, the cab was gone. I sat around waiting for it for about 15 minutes before Mona showed up and I borrowed her cell phone to call the cab company and they told me since I was late they left, but they'll send another one right away. So now I'm REALLY freaking out about being late. I get to the airport at about 1, thinking I have 18 minutes to get on my flight, and I don't have enough to pay for the cab so I have to run inside to find an ATM and run back to pay, then I have to run to security and run to my gate, which is empty. I start panicking 'cause I think the plane is all boarded and everything, and then I look at the sign and it says "Chicago: 2:45". Not only was I wrong, but it was delayed. The plane didn't actually end up leaving until 4, and I didn't get home until about 7, to a house full of no lights. I think if there's any sort of bad omen....maybe I should have stayed in Rochester.

But on the bright side, we really did surprise my dad, and it's great to see him and hug him and everything. He's really weak now, and it's kind of scary. I won't lie - I'm really worried. I'll be crying like a baby within the week about this I'm sure. Be prepared for some sob-story later.

And on an *actually* bright side (that last one was kind of a lie), you want to know what really kept me going throughout the 3 hours of sitting in the airport? No, it wasn't homework....it was dreaming about that special special leprochaun. I've been dubbed "good friend", which is quite satisfactory if I never make it to "soul mate". And I talked to him about 5 minutes ago and it seemed weird that it wasn't a possibility to just pop down to his room 3 floors below me and around a corner. Not that I go to his room, but it's always there. Now I'm in Chicago and he's still at UR. But he's well, and it's still good to know he's alive. I'm pathetic, I know, but he really does mean a lot to me and I still don't know how to say it 'cause he pretty much told me that he's not interested in dating now since he's so sure he's just a pain in the ass and would end up hurting a girl more than making a successful relationship. We'll see, though, we'll see.


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