----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Saturday, December 21, 2002
 
Why does it seem to be just my luck to fall hard for a guy who has destined himself to be alone? And I've lost my touch and somehow can't convince him otherwise? I've fallen hard enough by now to be scared to start anything with anyone else in fear that he may change his mind and the window is closed. I know that won't ever happen, and yet I'm still terrified. What I really need right now is to get it over with. Tell him how I feel, let him reject me, let myself get over it. I hate not knowing. And I hate being helpless. My biggest dream right now is to make him happy. I want to see him smile and I want him to mean it. Preferably I'd like to be the one to make him smile, but that's not what's important right now. I want him to know he's worth it. And I don't want it to be a lot to ask for.

Him: i always feel alone, even when i am with someone... i always feel that they are happier around other people, cause i'm not great to be around, other people are funnier and can talk easier, and just are better to be around

Him: i affect people's lives then leave, it's my place, i live to serve, i'm a messiah to many and no one to others, i believe in things many never dream about, and that makes me who i am, and i dont need things to get in my way... maybe i'm supposed to be alone and never make great and lasting friends, but it's ok
Me: I can't believe that anyone's place it to be alone



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