----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Saturday, January 25, 2003
 
Maybe I haven't been depressed enough at school. Maybe this is one of those integral parts of being at school. I know that everyone gets lonely at times, and I know I'm not special. But it does get tiresome.

Don't get me wrong, I adore Nancy and Summer. It's just one of those nights. Maybe I search for reasons to want to cry, but it really gets more painfully obvoius that the two of them get along better together than I do with either one. And I know we're "triples" and they care about me too, but three's a weird number. And I think I'm definitely the odd girl out.

I just need friends here who can be nice to me for about ten minutes. When the girls and Sam all gang up on me and pick on me for what seems like hours while no one else takes any shit, how do you think that makes me feel? Maybe I perpetuate this too much. Maybe it isn't as bad as I make it out to be. I just need to be alone sometimes. I need to remember who I am and where I came from. I need to fall asleep in someone's arms. I need to fit. I need to belong.

Right now, though, I think I'll wrap myself in the comfort of crying myself to sleep.


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