Wednesday, March 05, 2003
My biggest fear right now is that I'm going to get back to Evanston and still not feel better.
I had a talk with Erik a couple nights ago, and you know how that always goes....as much as I love him to pieces, and I know I'm lucky to have a friend who knows me so well and tells me everything about myself to my face, it's still hard sometimes. I don't want to have to admit that this is really how I am and that maybe there are some people who don't approve and maybe I should be different. Time to move on. I don't know how. I wish things would be okay.
I just want you to be proud of me, and I don't even know if that's what I'm thinking. I'm not sure there are words to describe how I want you to perceive me. We set these standards for each other so high that nothing will ever be enough. The only option that isn't there is to lower the bar.
I think it's the best part about our friendship.
4:03 PM
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