----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
 
Why is it so hard for my family to be able to survive for longer than six months without someone going into the hospital??? I wouldn't have thought this would take concentration and energy, but go fucking figure.

Yesterday, while celebrating their anniversary, Gramma had a stroke. In the late morning, Mom went with Gramma to Dan Spivack's grandmother's funeral, and about an hour later she went with Grampa to the library. Grampa waited in the car, and waited in the car, and waited in the car, and then the ambulances arrived. She had collapsed in a library. How fucking perfect.

So Mom told her friend Nicki that she wouldn't be able to go to Shiva at the Spivack's place because she was going to the hospital, and so Nicki went without her and told Mimi Spivack why they weren't there. Mimi told Dan, and Dan IMed me late last night with, "how's your grandmother doing?" My reply was, "what are you talking about?"

Mom finally called me today to tell me what happened. The entirety of the left side of her body is immobile. Thank goodness her speech and brain are okay...tomorrow they're moving her down to a regular room and out of intensive care, so I can call her. It's weird having to think of Gramma as old. That this is just old age coming for her. She's always been so energetic, and so....just like me.
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