----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.



























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Monday, August 11, 2003
Endings  
It's weird to think that the Summer is winding down. We've all spent so much time thinking about how great it is to be home, but in the back of our minds there's this nagging feeling that we really do miss school. Most of us still have a couple weeks left until we go, except for Erik who is already gone and Hannah who left yesterday. It doesn't feel like time to say goodbye yet, but I think it's in the back of everyone's mind that this is probably going to be our last summer all home together.

Aside from this in-between state of where I am and where I shall soon be, it's been a really good few days. Thursday evening I spent time with Sam; our last Chipotle gathering before I won't see him again until we're back in New York. It wasn't really saying goodbye because I know I'll see him in a couple weeks, but we're different in Rochester than in Evanston, and it's nice sometimes to get both of those worlds.
Quote of the evening: (After I offered Sam the rest of my burrito and he commented that I put mild salsa on): "If it won't give me the runs, then I don't want to eat it."

Friday night was good. I got Hannah and me tickets to see About Face's fifth anniversary production, and it's always wonderful to see gay kids onstage. They did a small montage of the great scenes from past About Face productions, and I've only missed 2. We both got new shirts (hooray!) and when she dropped me off, I made sure that it was NOT goodbye. Goodbyes would come later.
Quote of the evening: "Well you don't get to pick my label."

Saturday. Nikki and I went to Hannah's to give her a farewell since she left Sunday. We spent a good hour or so sitting in her backyard playing with the kittens. I actually got to pet the kittens (Dweezle, Max, and Frog)!!!!! They are SOOO cute!!! Nikki kept on trying to walk up to them and pet them, which you can't do 'cause they're WILD, and got sad when they ran away. Later that evening Nik and I met up with Rada and Erita and we drove around for 400 years trying to find this gay club, The Scene. Turns out we passed it twice before someone got out to check if that was the place (which it was), but it was closed for construction. So we ended up going down to Greenleaf St. Beach and nightswimming. Erita wouldn't get in the water ("Black people don't like to get wet.") but had no problem with three soaking, half-naked girls giving her a hug when we got out ("Black people can dig it."). It was fun.
Quote of the evening: Hannah thinks Max has some kind of birth defect 'cause her legs are short and so is her tail. Max and Dweezle were fighting, and as Max slinked over to the bushes to surprise Dweezle, Nikki said, "Why are you trying to fight? You're messed up."

Sunday I laid around watching Six Feet Under with Nikki, and she's currently not talking to me because I won't tell her what happens to Lisa. I take some kind of very sick but very healthy pleasure out of torturing her like this.

:-)


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