Blind Eyes Closed

----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."

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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.

Blind Eyes Closed

Monday, August 18, 2003
Horrible

I'm so horrible about this. I sit around and think all the time which turns out to be a pretty impressive internal dialogue, and then I come here to write it all down and it never comes out the way it did in my head. It's just frustrating how whiny I sound when it's supposed to be as objective as I can be while analyzing myself.

Well anyway, I had a good talk with him about an hour ago. I had forgotten how nice it was to talk to him, even though it's only been three days. Is that sad? Is my memory faulty enough that I can't remember emotion for longer than 48 hours? It's unnerving. How am I going to remember how I loved someone if I can't remember what love is? That's not what I'm talking about here, though. I still remember how to love, thank goodness. I just get overwhelmed when I get mad at myself because I don't have anyone else to calm me down. I've managed to trick myself into getting better at it, though. At least I'm less anxious than I was yesterday (thank you, Caleb).

I think thing'll be okay. I'll learn how to calm down and be myself. Really. It'll be fine.

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