----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Sunday, August 17, 2003
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I hate these moments when I've obviously hit a personal low. When I'm in New York, I may get lonely and depressed, but I never get so self-ashamed that I just want to stop existing for a little while. It's just been getting a lot worse lately and I can't think of anything I'd rather do than leave. Get away. Go back to Rochester where I at least can be content with myself. It really sucks that I can't even explain this to anyone because there's no way I can say it and have a good outcome. There isn't anyone who can make me feel better about myself. I have to learn that other people can't make me happy. I can't get hurt by someone and then just flitter off to someone else and expect them to make me who I want to be. I have to be sad sometimes. I have to learn how to deal with myself when I'm alone; sit myself down in a dark room and brood over everything that I should do to be who I want to be. And that is going to be the hardest part.
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