----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Monday, December 08, 2003
Out of Control  
You came back. Everyone told me you would and not to worry, but you're back.

Kind of.

You tell me I can't do that to people. You say that all I did was walk all over you. What the fuck do you think you do to me all the fucking time? But no, I know you don't think of it that way. You think you're being a bad friend and I feel bad for you and do whatever I can. I'll pretend that you understand that even though I'm not always what you need, I'm trying and that means something. You just see me not being what you want, though, and keep me around for your own amusement. This painful cycle ends in you breaking my heart every. single. time. I'll just keep coming back over and over again, deluding myself into thinking that maybe I'd have a chance with you.

That'll never happen, and I still can't get over you.

Because of you I'm probably going to do something that's really stupid and mess up something that could keep me sane. Because of you someone innocent is probably gonna get hurt.

I'm tired of hurting people. You do this to me more often than you think.

I'm tired of always being wrong. I know I was this time, but this time isn't the point. You made me believe that I hurt you because I had a chance with you, but even then I'm wrong. Fat fucking chance, Nora. I'll waste my life waiting for you. You did the same thing to me, just not in front of my face. So now it seems that either a) it's okay when YOU do it or b) it's okay to do so behind your back, just not where you can see. Neither of these should be okay. But it's okay, it's obvious now that you didn't give a shit then and you don't give a shit now, but I'm stupid enough to sit here and wait.

You tell me not to regret it. Fuck you.

You spend every day of our friendship breaking my heart and I'm the one who always feels bad. You tell me that whether or not I like it, I've made my choice and lost you, but I don't think you gave me anything to lose. I know that that's a lie, too, but it sounds good so I'm keeping it. The fact still remains, though, that five days ago was probably the best day of my life and it'll never happen again.

This will be the only chance I have to say this, because later I'll only be crawling back to you. Like now, like always.
6:12 PM 0 comments

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