----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
Archivies!
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2004
  • July 2004
  • June 2004
  • May 2004
  • April 2004
  • March 2004
  • February 2004
  • January 2004
  • December 2003
  • November 2003
  • October 2003
  • September 2003
  • August 2003
  • July 2003
  • June 2003
  • May 2003
  • April 2003
  • March 2003
  • February 2003
  • January 2003
  • December 2002
  • November 2002
  • October 2002
  • September 2002
  • August 2002
  • July 2002
  • June 2002
  • May 2002
  • April 2002
  • March 2002
  • February 2002
  • January 2002
  • December 2001












 
If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
I suck  
Tonight I went dress shopping with Mona for the Masquerade Ball (which I found, and it's beautiful), and since we were hungry we went to the food court. I didn't want to spill crap on this scarf that I always wear; long strands of reds and purples and teals; all vibrant and beautiful and intertwined; so I took it off and put it on the chair next to me. Stupid me, though, forgot to pick it back up.

So the scarf is gone. I went back to look for it, and (big fucking surprise) it wasn't there. Fuck. That scarf was a gift to me slightly over a year ago when Dad died. Nikki handed me a box; surrounding the scarf and a note saying "whenever you feel down and need a hug, wear this, close your eyes, and picture me holding you." And now it's fucking gone. I wear that scarf every day so every day I get my hug from Nikki and every day I miss my dad. I feel like slowly and surely I'm going to lose all my mementos of him, and that's the most terrifying idea I can think of. I know he'll always live in my heart and in my memories, but it doesn't seem the same without these little tokens that prove that he was once alive and breathing and... with me. Even as I type this, I'm wearing his sweater and wearing his jeans. One day I will grow out of these clothes. One day I'm going to be careless enough to lose the ring he gave me from Denmark; three little swans chisled in silver; one looking back to the past, one looking at me in the present, and one looking forward into the future. I've promised myself I'd never lose this ring since it is so irreplaceable, but knowing my luck and my stupidity I'm probably going to, just as I have done with the scarf. That was pretty fucking irreplaceable too. I don't want to lose him, and I don't want to lose my every-day hugs.
8:48 PM 0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment
 
This page is powered by Blogger.