----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Sunday, January 18, 2004
What have I done?  
Things in the past few days have been fucking ridiculous. You want something to read? Stop trying to interpret everything I say as something against you when there's always the other side of the story you choose to ignore. You have to learn how to listen if you're going to learn anything. I don't have anything to tell you anymore that you shouldn't already know. I know you choose not to believe it, but that's your choice. I don't lie, especially not to you and espeically not about things like this. I know you're smarter than to listen to things that are embellishments of what I'm actually feeling, so I don't. Somehow, though, this doesn't matter.

I'm sorry to everyone else who can only guess at what I'm talking about. I'm too confused to write anything that isn't a letter to him, whether or not he's gonna read. That hardly seems the point anymore. It's just that you, darling, make me feel like I'm not worth fighting for; that if you can learn to help yourself then other people won't let you down so much. I can't have everything be about you all the time, and as they are more things are about you than about anyone else, but you don't see that. You choose not to believe you can mean anything to me because that's what's more convenient for you in these fights. I just don't know what I can tell you anymore that you don't already know. I just don't want you to give up on me and on this friendship.

I hate getting dumped.
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