Blind Eyes Closed

----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."

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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.

Blind Eyes Closed

Monday, May 17, 2004
the horses and cattle are his only companions

I stopped carrying around a random, mostly-blank notebook with me for whatever reason, and today I realized what a mistake that was. I'm putting it back in to record all the little things that may deserve remembering. In its place, today, was a sheet of computer paper taken from Nicki's desk at work:

"5.17.04, 1:16 pm

Feeling obnoxiously faint, almost having trouble breathing. I thought writing it down would be another form of its existance, so it doesn't have to exist in me anymore.

This morning I thought, while walking to work and listening to my mix "I rock for having the balls to follow Wilco's 'I'm the Man Who Loves You' with Despwa's 'This Time.', only to find out later that my discman was set on random and I really didn't have the balls at all.

Nicki's desk is without a computer. Fuck.

Yesterday I was filling Mom's gas tank across the street from Statue Park, and I saw a man rollerblading by through the park. He was obviously a novice, rather old; skating perfectly upright with both arms completely extended to the sides, head tilted slightly back. Not skating. Gliding. I miss being able to observe things like this.

This piece of paper is a shitty excuse for a paper journal.

Sometimes, we DO need to bring ink and paper into this."

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