Blind Eyes Closed

----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."

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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.

Blind Eyes Closed

Wednesday, May 12, 2004
you're my favorite thing about the west coast

So I'm home. This is day 3. I just...don't want to be here. Simple as that. Sunday morning I woke up, finished packing, & almost started crying at the airport saying goodbye to Josh. It's so sad when you realize it's really here and there's still this chance I'm not going to see him for four months. I suppose there's still time to get used to this. This... passing out from bordom when mom goes to bed at 11 and then waking up hours upon hours later to sit around, alternating between the computer and the bed to watch stupid daytime tv. All in mom's room, of course, since the rest of the place is overrun by people ripping out and putting in floor. Makes me uncomfortable to leave, so I confine myself to the same ten foot by ten foot square. Yes the room is bigger than that, but I don't go into most of it.

So this is what I've been up to since I last posted. Josh called last night from his Lacuna Coil concert and left a message on my phone that was Heaven's A Lie, my favorite song by them. I couldn't tell what it was and didn't listen. Then he told me and I still couldn't tell much, but it was beautiful that he thought of me. Thank you. It really made me happy.

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