----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.



























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Monday, June 07, 2004
If you want me, then come on and break the door down  
I've started again, like what happened in mid-February maybe, to wake up every morning with a very specific pain in my abdomen. Like the last time this happened, I don't know why or what to do about it. My guess would be stress, but that still doesn't help me make it go away. Things are getting hectic at work again, whatever I'm trying to test isn't working for me and me only, and everyone I'm contacting about how to fix it is giving me a different answer so I still don't get it. I just have to sit around and wait for e-mails, and for tomorrow morning when the head programmer will be back. What is it with programmers that they can only work really odd hours? No one around this office can do anything without Chance here, and yet she still sets her 8-hour work day to happen from 4am- noon. So when everyone else gets here at 9 and then has a problem at 1, there's nothing we can do until tomorrow.

I wish I could still feel things. I'm not so sure I like this numbness. I wish I could think farther ahead than making it to tomorrow - wake up to get to work, get to work to get to go home, go home to talk to you, go to bed to wake up tomorrow. Time will keep elapsing. Always.

Is it 6 weeks later yet?


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