Friday, June 18, 2004
I'm happy for you, I'd rather be happy for me
I got kicked out of the room tonight so Mom and Paul could watch their movie. The movie was only on vhs and the only vcr in the house is attached to Mom's tv, so I had to go. During this time, unfortunately, I really really had to write. So there's a new 4 pages or so in my paper journal, which will probably get copied into here tomorrow. Tonight is just a summary:
Father's day is depressingly close. The day itself won't be so bad because I'll be at a brunch with my family celebrating Grampa and that'll be nice, and then later in the day the Kondos, our family friends from way back when, are coming into town so I'll probably be going to a big family dinner with them. It's a lot of distraction. Tomorrow's going to be bad and I can feel it; tonight I went to buy Dad (and Grampa) father's day cards. Tomorrow I plan on going to the cemetary and giving Dad his. Picking it out, I almost started crying. And by 'almost' I mean I did, but had to choke it down and stop myself because other people were coming in the aisle. Okay this is more than a summary. I guess I'm just lonely tonight. I drove around for a bit listening to some really good music I had forgotten about (Telegraph) and trying to not make things blurry. Mom's almost out of gas and I didn't want to fill up her tank, so I came home instead of sitting at Lovelace Park with a notebook writing things down, and instead wrote by candlelight in my room, and got depressed enough that I couldn't wait to come back to the computer and called Josh and left a message because he's out tonight.
There are northwestern students walking around outside the window and they're loud as hell. Dammit.
I just want it to be Monday so I can go back to work and not think about things.
11:42 PM
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