----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."


























 
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.


























Blind Eyes Closed
 
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
slow me down  
Time seems to be moving slower than ever. I haven't gotten a full night's sleep since I've been home, I think. My mattress sucks. I should sleep on the couch. Things just seem weird 'cause I'll spend my time thinking about you and feel one way, and then we'll talk and it'll feel like something completely different. I know Sunday wasn't the best, but I need you to understand why that made me so upset. Before we had a chance to talk about it (after I figured out why it was affecting me so) it seemed like things moved on. To something else. I hate that there has to be something else.

Work is getting more... obnoxious. I've been trying to test this electronic ordering function, and the company I'm ordering from has to manually create responses to me. Somehow, a week into testing this, the files he's creating for me have changed format to something that our software can't read, and on top of this my contact there is trying to push me off onto someone else so I can't really get straight answers. All of this while I care less and less.

We have family friends coming in on Sunday for I-dont-know-how-long. A week, I think, but one of them is staying for 2 weeks longer at the local culinary school for a camp. She'll be kicked out of the dorms during weekends and will be living in my room on the other bed. So I don't know how much I'll be around next week, these were our next door neighbors at our first house in Evanston, and their oldest daughter is about 2 weeks older than me so her mom and my mom were pregnant together and chummy, to say the least. I know I'll be coaxed into "family time" with them; Mom's been asking if there were any shows I want to take them too or if I want to go BACK down to Belmont to show them around. I don't think it'll happen, but we'll see.

Oh geez... Sunday is also father's day. Damn, maybe I'll spend some time this weekend at the cemetary. I haven't been back there since Thanksgiving, I guess this is as good a time as any for a visit.
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