Blind Eyes Closed

----The time is now. ----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."

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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind. ...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time. .............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.

Blind Eyes Closed

Sunday, January 28, 2007
invocation

i'm still not sure what to say tomorrow, but i have a couple ideas.

the first one involves how Nathaniel Seidman had his heart attack in 1966, when he was 47, although i spent my entire childhood believing he was 49. Then, in 2002, his son died at the exact same age. and while i'm kind of joking when i say that i expect to die in 2031, i'm kind of not.

the second idea is more whining about missing my dad. mom told me stories tonight of the day he died, and how considerate he was even then. he was on the brink of leaving all day, and when jan and paul arrived, i took them back there to see him with mom. and mom told me that i didn't have to stay, so i left the room and sat with our other guests. and about ten minutes later, he was gone. so not only did he wait for his daughter to leave the room, he waited for my mom to have support.

i can't type this without crying. how could i ever say it out loud?

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