----The time is now.
----"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."
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If you could look like anything...anything at all....what would you look like? I'd be the wind.
...........It's easy to be someone's friend when all you need is someone to console you. It's much harder to be there for them when they're happy all the time.
.............Even when I say nothing, it's a beautiful use of negative space.
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Sunday, September 29, 2002
Nothing constructive today. I've been sitting on my ass for hours. HOURS. I've been listening to Incognito a lot lately, though, so I figured I'd try to write out the lyrics 'cause they're amazing and I don't have a hard copy 'cause I'm a retard. Yep:
In a small town
In a place where everybody's around
There a cafe
And a park where all the children play.
And can you tell me
Why I'm feeling so uhappy?
This is the place where I really should be.
People say I'm crazy but I do
I do what I want to.
And if I ever said good-bye, would I forget you?
It all happens everywhere and everyday.
I guess I never really cared what people say.
Living alone in my world, I just can't see
How can everyone around...
Well how can they see me?
Seems like it all fits inside a coffee mug
And at the same time I'm still
The only one.
What am I doing here?
What is there to feel?
Somebody help me please
I don't know
There's a world to see,
Places I should be,
I can't stand to go incognito.
Incognito.
People say I'm crazy
But I do...
I do what I want to.
And if I ever said good-bye, would I forget you?
It all happens everywhere, and everyday
I guess I never really cared what people say.
What am I doing here?
What is there to say?
Somebody help me please, I don't know.
There's a world to see
Places I should be
I can't stand to go incognito.
Incognito.
In the city
Life is living and it's beauty.
And the best sight
Is at night with all the big bright lights.
But there's a cafe
And it reminds me of my small town days.
So can you tell me
Why I miss the place where I can't be
Is this the place where I really should be?
What am I doing here?
What is there to feel?
Somebody help me please
I don't know
There's a world to see
Places I should be
I can't stand to go incognito.
Incognito.
That was some FAST-ASS TYPING!
5:35 PM
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I wrote this beautiful post and then blogger ATE IT like a baby. Jackass. Anyway! Hi. So today I decided to run away from all responsibility and work and go to the mall. After wandering around with Meghan, Tracey, and Vanessa for about an hour (including walking ALL THE WAY to South Town Plaza and Vanessa ended up stealing a cart to carry all her newly bought shit), we decided to go to Wegmans to get a cake for Natalie 'cause her birthday is tomorrow (today?). Meghan, Tracey, and Nessa were still in the line when I left and the bus was pretty much on its way, so I went outside to see if I could stall it in case it came. Alan was sitting on the bench. I talked to him for a bit, and out of nowhere I actually started LISTENING to glimpses of the music Wegmans was playing quietly in the background. A sly mix of What a Wonderful World blending into a sweet version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I got flashbacks of walking down the crowded hallways of ETHS with the oh-so-near promises of weekend right over the horizon. That's right - The Friday Song. Nothing could have made me smile more for three and a half minutes.
1:57 AM
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Friday, September 27, 2002
Happy Birthday to Kate Schwartz!
Okay story of why I'm upset (haha 'cause there's a new reason now...):
Last night was odd. Sometime around 9 Sam got the idea that it would be funny to run up and down the hall spraying everyone with a watergun. Which really was funny. He got Meghan really good and so in retaliation she got her bottle of Orange Lysol and started chasing him back. He tried running back to his room, but he was locked out, so he decided to go for it and charged us. In a moment of immense fear, I tried ducking into Tracey's room, but Meghan was in the way, so I ended up banging her really hard into the corner of the doorframe. Her bone is brusied. And she won't let it go. I got really really upset this morning because she was being such a whore about it and had Erik call to make me feel better. And Meghan came in the room in the middle of it and made me cry. I don't even remember what she did but I was so angry....mm. And then she apologized a lot. And I guess it's better now....I dunno. Crazy.
4:23 PM
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Thursday, September 26, 2002
Okay. Just a note to Mike, who started off a post with "Nora's been bothering me to update so I did:
Who ever said extremely obnoxious perseverence never paid off?
I love you, darling.
2:58 PM
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Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Why I love and miss Gabe:
Gabe: all time low... I just put on shoes when I realized I wasn't wearing pants.
3:18 PM
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I am an American aquarium drinker
I assassin down the avenue
I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
What was I thinking when I let go of you
Let's forget about the tongue-tied lightning
Let's undress just like cross-eyed strangers
This is not a joke so please stop smiling
What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt
I want to glide through these brown eyes gleaming
Deep from the inside, baby hold on tight
You were so right when you said I'd been drinking
What was I thinking when we said goodnight
I want to hold you in the bible-black pre-dawn
You're quite a quiet domino, bury me now
Take off your band-aid 'cause I don't believe in touch-downs
What was I thinking when we said hello
I always thought that if I held you tightly
You would always love me like you did back then
Then I fell asleep and the city kept blinking
What was i thinking when i let you back in
I am trying to break your heart
I am trying to break your heart
And still I'd be lying if I said it wasn't easy
I am trying to break your heart
Disposable dixie-cup drinker
I asassin down the avenue
I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
What was I thinking when I let go of you
(I'm the man who loves you)
11:25 AM
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Tuesday, September 24, 2002
Okay. Reasons why Nora is a dumb-head:
Last night I spent about 5 hours freaking out about this paper I had to do for this morning for Mech E. So I worked hard and got it done and went to sleep all satisfied and stuff. And then I got to class this morning worried 'cause it's not that great of a paper, and I was wondering why no one else was talking about the paper. That's what I'm used to - on the day a paper is due everyone sits around and compares. But no one was. And then Professor Perruchio came in and reminded us to finish up the papers 'cause they're due THURSDAY. So I freaked out for 5 hours for nothing but getting a rough draft done. Which is good, I guess, 'cause I have a rough draft done. But I wish I could have saved some stress. *sigh*
5:52 PM
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Monday, September 23, 2002
Umm. Relevence. So. What's going on....yeah. Wow. There really should be something. I've been happy and generally not active. I've been on this amazing Wilco High for the past couple days and it makes me really happy. YHF is a great album. *sigh* It makes me miss Feinglass. He's my "I have to make Nora a Wilco fan" buddy and it worked well. I love random missions.
My 'zine for english is going to be amazing...we have a name! Since we're the media group we decided our zine was going to be dedicated to bashing MTV, so it's title is now "Fuck MTV!" It's going to be great. And I'm going to class tomorrow with my camera to take pictures of everyone so we can do that whole put-the-author's-picture-with-their-article thing that a lot of magazines/papers do. I'm excitttted!
8:37 PM
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WeBWorK is the devil!
8:31 PM
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*does a "I have a paper to do but I don't want to do it" dance*
8:02 PM
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Sunday, September 22, 2002
Entertainment after Second City:
"G-d bless you, Spider-Man!"
Worst movie ever.
1:22 AM
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Saturday, September 21, 2002
Quotes from SECOND CITY:
(spelling bee):
"Your word is compass."
"Umm, can you use that in a sentence?"
"Yes. Your people killed Jesus. compass."
(woman pretending to be a music teacher for the audience):
"Sing this part from the diaphragm, you know, like what your mother should have been wearing."
(wife and husband at the breakfast table; wife is reading the newspaper):
Wife: "What do you think of this abortion bill?"
Husband: "Pay it."
After the show Mona and I went to the pit and stole a lot of the promotional posters. The huge one is on the celing above my bed. My bet is that it'll give me nightmares.
10:50 PM
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Friday, September 20, 2002
If The Government Could Read My Mind
-the vandals
Baby I'm more than a little concerned you see
about the New World Order conspiracies
And the covert spreading of deadly disease
They've got earthquake machines and UFO's
and black helicopters wherever we go
But I forget them all when you are with me
They can telepathically read my mind I'm not scared of what
they'll find
Let them do what they're gonna do
Cuz if the government can read my mind
they know I'm thinking of you.
They've got secretly funded internment camps
and biological warfare labs
But when you look at me they all don't seem so bad
They've got Martian traded technology,
and mind control psychology
I'll let them do what they wanna do
Cuz if the government can read my mind
they know I'm thinking of you.
I could stockpile food and join a militia
but I'd rather stay at home and kiss ya
Let them do what they're gonna do
Cuz if the government can read my mind
they know I'm thinking of you.
If the government can read my mind baby,
you know it doesn't matter what
they find, cuz if the government can read my mind
they know I'm thinking of you.
12:23 PM
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Just as a side note, I'd like to point and laugh at Mike 'cause I've updated SO MUCH MORE than he has. The distance between his last two posts was a whopping 6 days while I posted three times yesterday. And one more right now. I KICK ASS. So Mike, maybe YOU should update (damn you) and Erik too 'cause he's been about a week and I'm too impatient for that shit.
On a more Rochester-note...I had this amazing talk with Boyer yesterday and it put a lot of things into place and made me generally happy. Or at least more content with my place than I have been. I know now that things here are going to be okay. I really believe it.
Convocation weekend starts now, but it's kind of bullshit 'cause I'm not participating. It's just a big luncheon with all the faculty advisors, but I never RSVPed 'cause I don't care that much. I have Chinese food in the room and that'll keep me quite content, thank you.
Mona's birthday is October 1st, which is less than 2 weeks away. It's Tatiana and Christina's jobs to decorate our door, but Meghan, Tracey and I are going to decorate the entire inside of the room in brightly colored crepe paper and balloons and we're getting Sam Boyer to cook us a really nice french meal for her and we're going to buy him a springboard pan (or something like that) so he can make his signiture flourless chocolate cake. It's going to be amazing. I told Alan about it this morning and he doesn't understand the concept of flourless cake. "Isn't that fudge?" "No, it's flourless chocolate cake." I'll save him a piece now.
It feels good to really have friends.
And now speaking of Alan....he's being silly. We haven't been hanging out lately 'cause we're both busy, and I miss him as a friend. And I'm not sure if he understands that 'cause of the whole attraction thing (which is silly anyway)...Thursday we got in a big argument 'cause I asked him what was on his mind and he didn't want to tell me because it was another girl. Like that's a big deal. But he tried saying "oh you don't want to know" and I got mad 'cause he really doesn't know me like that. And I was right. I just thing there's a lot of kids here that are still in high-school mode and don't understand that none of that matters anymore. Alan is very based on acceptance, and it seems very high-school...like in our calc recitation, he tried defending his not knowing a problem with "well I got a 5 on physics AP and bc calc and blah blah blah" and I just wanted to hug him and tell him that it's okay that he didn't know how to solve the question, but that his AP scores really don't matter right now. If they ever did.
I have a crush on a leprochuan.
11:53 AM
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Thursday, September 19, 2002
Nora: Meghan just spat sprees at my head
Nora: and locked herself in her room
Grant: that is a mating ritual in some cultures
9:58 PM
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HAPPY TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!!!!!
I had almost forgotton, but remembered about an hour ago. I left to go eat pumped because I had recently remembered this treasure of knowledge, and as Mona and I were walking to the pit we passed M Dan wearing an eye-patch. He recognized me and yelled "YARRRRR!!!!!" and I ran up to him, both arms outstretched ready for TWO high-fives and yelled "Happy talk like a Pirate Day!" He gave me the high five as I added "No one I know is participating!" and he gave me a look of surprise and said "Wow. Well, the entire Drama House is really into it." and left on his path. I walked away to rejoin Mona with a smile on my face.
8:12 PM
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Sarah: Ther once was a girl named Noby, and she was the prettiest girl in all the land. Everyone loved her, except the evil and deceptive lord dickhead. But it's ok, becuase one day lord dickhead was walking and tripped and fell off a cliff to his death. So now everyone can say with confidence that everyone in the world loves Noby. The End
Which is why I love Sarah. *hugs*
6:13 PM
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My internet connection has been cutting me off every so often since Monday. This is why I haven't been posting nor on AIM for long periods of time - I get kicked off regularly. So this is an open apology. ResNet can kiss my ass. Viva la revolution!
11:35 AM
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Sunday, September 15, 2002
(talking about Alan):
Booobay: I started apologizing like crazy after asking him for help on the math
Booobay: 'cause I felt bad for bothering him so much when all my mistakes were trivial. And he was just like "why are you apologizing?" He really didn't get it. And I felt less bad.
Booobay: I told him I owe him cookies because of all the help and he didn't get that either.
Booobay: and I think I needed that.
11:31 PM
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"I really do love you, Meghan. Whenever I say 'Fuck you, bitch' I'm really laughing in my heart."
-Pat piss drunk while hugging Meghan.
I NEED BOOZE AND ASS.
2:09 PM
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I don't know if I can do this anymore. This seems less and less my place and less and less my time. I'm always alone. I can't handle it. I need to talk to someone who understands but it's 4:30 in the morning and my friends are all drunk. To be honest I'm also pissed that Hannah can convey everything I'm feeling right now but she can make it sound poetic and beautiful and I just sound like I'm whining a lot. I just shouldn't be alone.
3:36 AM
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Friday, September 13, 2002
People make me so happy sometimes. I found my replacement for Sarah Rios here, and my replacement I mean someone who's always genuine and has that great "I'm happy" face that makes everyone around her happy. Tracey, one of the girls in my hall. She's always good natured and laughs a lot. It's good. And I talked to Alan Sufrin for a bit tonight and he gave me his blessing and is praying for my father. It's a good day.
6:16 PM
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What's the difference between a married man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
12:21 AM
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Wednesday, September 11, 2002
BAGPIPES!
12:09 PM
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Tuesday, September 10, 2002
I'm SO tired of this petty shit. I already know he doesn't like me. At all. I have a pretty good guess why, too (he makes it QUITE clear) but all this stupid high school BULLSHIT has to go. All the little things...like tonight's "we don't have to wait for her, she'll figure out we left" so I can eat alone in the pit. It's fucking rediculous. And since I'm NOT at ETHS anymore I'm NOT in the mood. Not that I put up with high school bullshit when I was IN high school, but now there's no excuse.
8:31 PM
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So I've spent the past three hours of my life at the open rehersal of the In Between The Lines Improv Troupe. They're HILARIOUS. And since they'll have so few returning members next year, they're taking on a BUNCH of new kids. So I went to the audition as general moral support. And stayed because it was funny. Afterward they offered Fanta and a chance to meet the kids, and so I stayed. For an hour. It's such an amazing atmosphere, it made me kind of sad that I didn't participate in any of the games. So I'm going to go and participate on Wednesday. Or just go to chill again, they're SO FUNNY. There's this one guy, Grauber, who I stood around with for about 15 minutes and made him act out random animal births. The giraffe was the funniest. And then we played the Idiot game and I won (which means I'm NOT an idiot, thank you....) and it was a good night. I'm happy. Now I'm going to sleep in Meghan's room 'cause mine is too HOT.
12:05 AM
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Sunday, September 08, 2002
I think it's about time to come home. I miss home. Somehow I've been here for two weeks and already there are people on my floor who really really dislike me. Which I find a little silly but he doesn't really let me talk to him and makes me feel bad for trying to be myself. So I quit. Yesterday I spent the day chillin' with Nancy and her friends Jeff, Ben, Jon, and Tom. They're hilarious. Jeff and Ben are jews and so I knew them from services, but the others are great too. We went to Wegmans and Nancy and I got Jon to hit Jeff a bunch of times. Cheap physical comedy. It was fun. Then we went out to dinner at the Pit and Jon and Tom started telling "your mom" jokes and I was like "you know, there are better genres of jokes. Like women jokes. Do you have any good ones?" And Ben just kind of looked at Tom and asked "do you think she's serious, or is this just her trying to get us to say something so she can hit us later?" And I laughed and started telling the jokes. It was fun. Then I came home and went to play pool with my hall and it was somehow not nearly as good. I'm only really comfortable (on my floor) with Mona, Tracey, Meghan, and Todd. It's silly. I miss my kids at home. Mona gets freaked out whenever I'm on the phone 'cause I get really goofy. She was here when I talked to Grant yesterday and vowed to never be in the room again when I'm on the phone. It's fun. I miss you guys, call me!
1:16 PM
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Promise Yourself Only the Best
Promise yourself to dream more and hesitate less.
To believe in yourself more and judge yourself less by
the accomplishments of others.
To appreciate your family and friends and for all
the wonderful ways they make your life better.
Promise yourself to accept life as it comes and truly
make each day special.
To become more independent and more willing to change.
To fill your life with special times, and make your dreams come true.
D. Bessier
1:05 PM
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Friday, September 06, 2002
I WAS RIGHT!!!!! (this is for everyone who doubted me...)
Nora: Alan!
Nora: I was just talking about you
Alan: ...good things, I hope
Nora: nothing but
Nora: I spent the evening with the Rochester Jewish Alan so I was telling the kids here about "the Alan conspiracy"
Nora: which is still extremely illogical
Alan: ?
Alan: maybe I can help
Nora: Are you allowed to let out information to non-Alans?
Alan: wow, am I ever confused...
Nora: haha sorry
Nora: I'll try to be coherant
Nora: I met this really nice kid here who's ALSO really jewish and is named Alan
Nora: so I figured there was some sort of conspiracy between you two and most likely others
Nora: but that you wouldn't be able to divulge any information about it since I'm not an Alan
Alan: I see
Nora: my attempts at coherancy aren't working, are they?
Alan: as a matter of fact, the nice-kid-Jewish-Alan council has met concerning the Nora Act of 2002
Nora: what'd you discuss?
Alan: that we can't divulge any information to.... dammit!
Nora: I'll change my name
Nora: secretly
Alan: then we'll change the name of the Act... dammit!
Nora: you're too cute, Alan!
Nora: I have to do chemistry homework
Nora: night dear
2:12 PM
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Wednesday, September 04, 2002
My room is unberably hot. We don't have a fan because we figured since the first showfall comes around Halloween that it won't be hot enough for a fan to be a good investment.
We were dead wrong.
I woke up this morning around five o'clock because it was so freakin' hot in our room. I thought "hey, we have a non-temperature-absorbant-material floor. I'll bet it's cold." That made sense to me because I was so tired. So I took my top sheet, Cherub, and a pillow and fell asleep on the floor. I slept that way for three hours and then woke up at 8 'cause my arm hurt and got back into bed. The funny part is: Mona woke up at 6 'cause her pillow fell off her bed. She got down, picked it up, and put it back. It was light by this time, but she somehow didn't notice that I was sleeping on the floor. I told her about it today.
She's out buying a fan now.
6:44 PM
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Wow it hasn't felt like that long since I was last here. My sincerest apologies. Classes started yesterday! They're great! I'm really excited. And everyone I've talked to said all the freshman stay really excited for about two weeks. So we'll see how much I like it then. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have life structrues mechanics in the morning, and that class is all about structural design so we get to make models with k'nex sets. And I love toys! Next is writing. The purpose of writing in this class is less to become a better writer than to publish four 'zines on campus. It's going to be amazing.
Calc and Chem are going to be less amazing than a lot of time in class but my calc professor is a nut so it'll be entertaining at least. I'm excited, at least. Woooo.
Things socially are going fun. I've met a lot of fun kids from Hillel so I feel like I have the inside Jew connection. Which I think it might-ay convenient. But they're all cool kids and I make them say hi to me when we pass in the building. And I found a Jew named Alan! He's not a mini and I don't think he plays guitar or has girls swooning over him all the time, but he seems like a really cool kid. It's a tired day.
6:40 PM
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Sunday, September 01, 2002
On a lighter note, I scored Alan's number today. I went through withdrawl yesterday and spent much of my bus tour singing Destiny Dunne under my breath, which I'm sure was pretty silly since I don't know all the words.
6:48 PM
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It's days like today and yesterday that I really wish I had friends like Erik and Grant here. Grant knows me so well he can read me like a fucking book which is annoying sometimes, but I really do need it. Erik just knows how to handle me and it's comforting. I've been in my wallflower moods where it's important for me to sit in the corners of rooms and watch people interact with each other and do their own thing. Like I spent about half an hour yesterday sitting in David's room while he was playing Diablo II and Pat was watching him play. They were talking about it a bit and I just sat on the floor watching them with my notebook open and being happy. And I'm pretty sure they didn't understand. But it was so pure. It was them being themselves and not worrying about putting on a show for each other to impress or any of that bullshit. I like it. I just wish they knew.
6:47 PM
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