Tuesday, April 29, 2003
This is why I love Seth Rosen:
Dolagunov: "....and the Heavens parted, and descended the glorius Angel of the Lord. And the Angel pointed down to the forsaken lamb, The Poor Seth of Rosen. And the Lord's voice spoke loud and clearly across the plane of existence: "Seth Rosen. You are an asshole. I Hate you." And Seth was unhappy. And the angels of the Lords rejoiced, for they had so grieved the poor child..."
7:59 PM
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Dan Drake is coming to Rochester next year! This makes me unusually happy. :-)
6:23 PM
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Josh and I don't really talk anymore. I miss him. But everytime we do talk it ends up being about five to ten minutes before I get pissed off and the conversation goes dead. It's a sad, sad truth.
12:32 AM
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Sunday, April 27, 2003
The last couple days have been incredibly busy, but in one of those really good ways. I've spent a lot of time hanging out with my ladies and bonding, so to speak.
Friday was great. After my morning classes, I went to a normal lunch with my normal group, then Mona and I headed off at 1:30 to see the juggler's perform for Earth Day. We saw Greg juggle fire!!! It was sooo cool. Then Moners and I trooped off to Todd Union to mail a letter, and headed back through the Earth Day festivities to get to the bookstore so I could buy stuff for Sara Gunning, which was successful, by the way. So then Jim followed us when we went back through everything and headed up to the Hive to play pool with the trips and Kyle, and we met up with Alex there too. I kind of drifted in between the two games (one between jim and alex, the other between everyone else), just laughing and making fun of everyone. Everyone was in a good mood and that kind of sentiment was thick in the air. The atmosphere is beautiful.
We took breaks in between games to play some DDR outside the pool room, and it was REALLY FUN!!!! I was kind of ashamed of playing seeing as how I've spent soo much of my life making fun of people who spend so much of their life on this game, but I've learned well enough to stop regretting anything. Life's too short for that.
So after DDR we came back to the dorms for a 15 minute break around 5, and then headed straight back out to throw around the bee. Trips and Monie, then went to work (and watch) the first showing of Adaptation, a WONDERFUL movie. Summer and Mona and I really had frisbee fever, so we went inside Hoyt Hall and were throwing around in the aisles. I love these times.
This brings us to yesterday: D-Day. Technically, this stands for Dandelion Day, since dandelions are our campus flower (which is retarded since they're not a flower, but you know...), but is MUCH better known as Drunk Day. Honestly everyone on campus who drinks is drunk by 2:00 in the afternoon. Campus set up rides and big blow-up slides and obsticle courses and games and stuff for us, and it was just amazing. I love the energy of walking around Dandelion Square and feeling the buzz in the air. I was breathing radiance from everyone. I didn't start drinking until around 1:30 or so (which is a lot later than you think) with the trips and moners (the only sober one among us) and Josh Veazey, who is AWESOME. He's the ex-chairperson of the cinema group, and honestly he's probably the coolest guy I've met on campus.
Anyway, I digress. We spent the day on the square making spin-art frisbees and going on one of those octopus twirl-y rides (which was, surprisingly NOT covered in vomit), walking around and talking to people. Everyone's so friendly when they're drunk. I got tons of hugs from Nels (an improver that I am stalking), multitudes of sexy kisses on the neck from Ted (my favorite gay boy), and had a nice long converation with Cliff, who couldn't understand why I don't smoke at all. I came back and crashed around 5 for a good hour's nap, then headed to dinner and more evening activities (i.e. more frisbee). Then we drank some more scotch and watched Sorority Boys in David Day's (who IS D-Day) room, then came back upstairs and I called Taylor up to watch Go with us with the intention of taking a shot every time they make a drug reference but that would have been ridiculous. So we just watched the movie and Taylor forced me to sleep. Which was a great idea.
I love everything!!
1:39 PM
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Thursday, April 24, 2003
Big hugs for Monie.
7:52 PM
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Wednesday, April 23, 2003
There's nothing like learning that your hallmate has taken action, so to speak, and is in the hospital to brighten your day.... I hate feeling guilty for not knowing him better. I want to be supportive but I don't know how. Everything's just....heavy. I kind of need a hug, but I think it's more like I want to embrace everyone on my hall who's friends with him and let them know that I'm here and that everything will someday be okay. Everything happens and there's no stopping it, but if they ever need to take a time out and talk to me then I'm here. And it never really mattered that we're not particularly friends....it's just so trivial. Everything is. There's no escape.
Heavy.
8:35 PM
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Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Hooray for Less Than Jake!!! I'll write more about it later, but for right now, just understand that I'm still kind of speechless. In a good way.
10:06 PM
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Monday, April 21, 2003
My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Doctor Shizzlemah.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.
11:45 PM
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so much has been going on I don't even know where to start. I spent last weekend in upstate New York seeing where Summer's from. It was...educational, to say the least. I don't think I could ever get used to living in a town of 120 people, where the nearest city is 10,000 people. Evanston has more than that and it's still a suburb. The only thing to do in Watertown is to go to the mall. If I had to live at Old Orchard I'd hate every day.
On the plus side, though, it was really cool to meet Summer's friends and see exactly where she's coming from. It's so incomplete here to try to understand people without seeing how they are in the environment they spent the first 18 years of their life growing in. I don't think I spoke much the entire weekend 'cause I just wanted to observe. To see her face light up when she walked into a tiny corner-market and surprise an old friend of hers who she hasn't seen in four months was absolutely breathtaking. I live for these moments, and it doesn't even matter that they happened to someone else.
2:43 PM
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Wednesday, April 16, 2003
So earlier today I went with some kids in my CAD class to Gleason, one large base which designs parts of a machine that makes gears for cars, motorcycles, etc. Our CAD teacher works there and uses CAD to design the parts. For the first time in my life, I've seen exactly what a degree in mechanical engineering can get me, and I can actually SEE myself doing that for the rest of my life. It's calming.
12:02 AM
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Sunday, April 13, 2003
I feel so bad for Monie. She's been going through a lot of shit lately and it's not that she won't tell me what's going on, it's just that I don't know how to ask and make it believable that I really do care. Things should never be this complicated. Everyone should be able to be happy and that should be enough.
I talked to Erik tonight. That always has some kind of theraputic/calming effect on me. It has ever since the seventh grade at Haven where we'd troop off to the cafeteria together after another rousing day of woodworking and we would both be so pissed off at Ben that all we could do was stand in the lunch line together and gripe. Who would have thought that six years later that's all we need? I wish I had his knack for knowing exactly what to say to people to magically make everything make sense and put into perspective, and therefore not seem so bad. I think it's a very important quality, and somehow I've lost it.
Everyone's been upset lately for whatever reason, and it's like no one knows each other well enough to know what to do in this kind of situation. That's the worst kind of reminder that I'm not at home anymore. If this were Evanston I would know to just sit and let Bunny talk his way through shit, or I'd know to cuddle with Nikki or Erik or Cammy or Hannah and let them talk while I play with their hair and give them those ambiguous answers that let them know everything will be okay. I can't do that here. It's suffocating. I listen to Josh talk every day about things that are bothering him and instead of focusing fully on what he's saying, I'm trying to think what he needs to hear to make everything okay. I hate going to him or someone else with whatever's bothering me and be silently screaming "just give me a hug and tell me everything will be okay!" because that's all I really need. I hate having to tell people that. I miss the times when they just know.
I had a talk with Josh earlier tonight. He was saying that he thought he'd never find a soul mate, and I told him that I know there's someone somewhere that'll make him happy. I said I'm not naive enough to believe I could ever convince him I could do it, but when he finds her, I don't want his inhibitions to keep him from letting himself be happy. That's all that ever mattered to me about him. It's so much more important for me that Josh is happy than to know that I was the one that did it for him. I don't know if he understands that, but maybe, with any luck, he'll read this and smile.
Only one more month until I'm home. I can't wait. Hannah, I'm calling you within 10 seconds of walking in my door. I mean it. Sit by your phone.
11:19 PM
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Thursday, April 10, 2003
yay for updating....?
11:27 AM
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I feel kind of guilty for not posting anything here in a while, but I'm busy and lazy and that's a terrible combination.
Sara's here, and I love having the comany, even though it must suck for her 'cause it's cold and I'm in class all the time 'cause I'm a loser. The trips, Sam, Sara, and I drove out to Buffalo tonight to see Dave Chappelle, which was great. Tell me if this makes sense: So Summer bought the Dave Chappelle tickets, thinking it was just going to be the Trips and Sam, and so those were four seats together. I realized afterwards that Sara was going to be in town, so I bought another ticket and opted to take the seat away from everyone else. I bought this ticket about 3 weeks after Summer did, and somehow my seat ended up in the 8th row center while the four of them were looming around in the back somewhere.
These things have an eerie way of working out.
1:38 AM
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Monday, April 07, 2003
Josh's away message:
i try to believe when you say you care
so why does it feel like you're gone?
when you're with all them all i can do it stare
waiting for another dawn
how can you say you miss me
when i don't even cross your mind?
and go even as far as to kiss me
and trick my into this bind
it's too hard to tell if you're lying
because i keep on coming back
what you cant see is i'm left here crying
fighting so i dont crack
i wonder why you still keep me around
i'll be tossed once you realize you dont need me
dropped so fast and i'll hit the ground
and have no one else to lead me
and now without you i'm alone and cold
but i'm fearing your absense so i fold
without you i'm weak and with you i'm damaged
but who am i to be so bold?
...I just thought it was beautiful.
3:08 PM
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Sunday, April 06, 2003
It's been a weird few days. Nika, Mona's nine-year-old sister, arrived Thursday evening and spent the weekend with us.
Do you KNOW how weird it is that I can't compete for guys' attention against a nine-year-old? My self-esteem is really failing....it's like I get to talk to the guys 'cause I'm friends with Nika, who knows her power and spent the whole time flaunting that she had four of our closest male friends warpped around her pinkie finger.
Actually, it was really funny to watch. We introduced her to Jeff and leprechaun josh thursday night, and both of them were instantly smitten. I just kind of laughed. We all went to an improv show, and Nika was teasing Josh so he got up and sat on the other side of the room. I was sititng next to Boyer, who leaned over to me and whispered, "what's his name again?" I made the mistake of telling him. He then turned around and yelled, "hey Josh, you realize you're a nine-year-old's bitch, right?" Josh's face flushed, and summer, nancy, and my eyes all widened. I'm still in shock he said that....
Then Friday, Monie took Nika to orgo with her. That's where she met Taylor, who thought she was the funniest person ever. Ten minutes before the end of class, she looks at Mona and says "everyone is falling asleep!" Taylor almost fell out of his chair laughing. That afternoon, I had to watch her for a bit while Mona worked on trailors for the movies that weekend, and so I rounded up Taylor and the Lep and we taught the kid how to play Risk. Her attention span lasted until we set up the board. Wooooo. That night she worked the movie, and Suhail was following her around all night.
The next morning, Mona put up the away message "My lil sis is turning all our guy friends into pedophiles!" and I put up "Is it bad that I can't compete against a 9 year old for guys' attention?" Josh left me messages saying "little girls take all my attention. The hottest girl could walk by and I wouldn't notice. Don't take offense heheh." And put up the away message "why are little sisters so cool?" So I left him a message saying "dude are you calling me ugly????" and put up "haha josh is a pedophile." which he got mad at, so I changed it to "you know I love you, Josh, it's just a crying shame I'm too old."
She left today. I miss her. Little kids have such an amazing way of always telling the truth and no one gets offended. I wish I could be blessed with such brutal honesty.
7:29 PM
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Thursday, April 03, 2003
Seth Rosen's away message:
Brains for Dinner
Brains for Lunch
Brains for Breakfast
Brains for Brunch
Brains at every single meal
Why can't we have some Guts?
This will never get less funny. It's SETH, for christ's sake.....
7:30 PM
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Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Why is it so hard for my family to be able to survive for longer than six months without someone going into the hospital??? I wouldn't have thought this would take concentration and energy, but go fucking figure.
Yesterday, while celebrating their anniversary, Gramma had a stroke. In the late morning, Mom went with Gramma to Dan Spivack's grandmother's funeral, and about an hour later she went with Grampa to the library. Grampa waited in the car, and waited in the car, and waited in the car, and then the ambulances arrived. She had collapsed in a library. How fucking perfect.
So Mom told her friend Nicki that she wouldn't be able to go to Shiva at the Spivack's place because she was going to the hospital, and so Nicki went without her and told Mimi Spivack why they weren't there. Mimi told Dan, and Dan IMed me late last night with, "how's your grandmother doing?" My reply was, "what are you talking about?"
Mom finally called me today to tell me what happened. The entirety of the left side of her body is immobile. Thank goodness her speech and brain are okay...tomorrow they're moving her down to a regular room and out of intensive care, so I can call her. It's weird having to think of Gramma as old. That this is just old age coming for her. She's always been so energetic, and so....just like me.
8:43 PM
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Tuesday, April 01, 2003
Today is my grandparents 59th wedding anniversary.
It seems weird to even farthom 59 years as a span of time, let alone spending that span of time married to the same person.
And get this.....they're still happy. Sometimes it's the little things that really make me smile.
8:51 PM
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